Lindsay Lohan Suffers from Americanitis

Lindsay Lohan today is retching her guts out andagainst the Iraqi people and coveted the oil of the
cleaning toilets at the Cirque Lodge RehabilitationIraqi people and the fame and fortune of Linday
Center in Orem, Utah. Having chased and caught theLohan. God of Mount Sinai, worshipped by every
American Dream of fame, fortune, movie and musicChristian, Muslim and Jew carved in stone Himself that
stardom Lindsay was left with a painful empty feelingif people broke his 10 commandments He would
which she chose to eliminate with the cheap thrills ofpunish them, their children, their grandchildren and
booze and cocaine. 91 percent of the world's poppytheir great grandchildren. Rather than admit their own
plants are grown in Afghanistan. These poppy plantscrimes against humanity the American people are
are turrned into heroin and wind up on the streets ofscape goating and blaming the Muslims, the terrorists,
America, leading to violent crime and incarceration andAl Qaeda, Hamas, the Axis of Evil, Syria, Iraq, Iran,
their toll personally and financially on all Americans.North Korea, the Republicans, the Democrats and
The United States of America conquered Afghanistananyone else they can think of for their own sins. It is
4 years ago and the poppy production has increasedimportant to get to the root of our problems and
since then. These poppy plants are used to finance Althen weed them out permanently. The root cause of
Qaeda. Why hasn't President Bush given the order tothe Iraq War, leading to the Iran War and then to
root out every poppy plant in Afghanistan? What's innuclear world war 3, the Apocalypse, the extinction
it for the administration to keep America's poorof life on Earth forever in the aftermath of nuclear
minorities hooked on smack and locked behind bars?world war 3, nuclear winter then ultraviolet summer is
What did Lindsay Lohan's poppy Michael Lohan do tothe human brain. If not for the existence of human
cause his daughter Lindsay to tumble into the abyss?beings the Earth would be a real live paradise for the
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if anext few billion years, with crystal clear streams, lush
woodchuck could chuck wood? Americanitis is theforests and fresh sparkling air. Where did we go
inflamation of the American. The American mindwrong? What invention of the human brain triggered
today is burning in a self made Hell. Feel your brainthe transformation of our beautiful planet into the
cells exploding like a suicide bomber playing "Blow mewasteland of Mars, which used to have its own
up for Virgins." The Old Testament, revered as Holybeautiful oceans? Now all Mars is good for is to
Scripture by Christianity, Islam and Judaism tells manyresurface the courts at Roland Garros, Roger
stories. Every year on the Day of Atonement, theFederer's Waterloo. The invention of the human brain
highest of all holidays, Yom Kippur, the High How arewhich is causing the Iraq War, global warming and
You Jewish Priest took a goat into the desert. TheLindsay Lohan's impending incarceration is the car. For
High Priest laid his hands upon the head of the goat5 million years human beings got along beautifully
and transferred all of the sins of the Jewish peoplewithout cars. Now we are all car junkies. We are like
into the goat. This is the origin of Jewish guilt andcoke junkies standing outside of a drug store
neuroses, the theme of every Woody Allen movie.Jonesing with excruciating withdrawal symptoms until
The guilty goat was then sent to carry the sins ofwe can no longer stand the pain and we break into
the Jewish people away into the sands of thethe drug store. Iraq is the drug store, the gasoline
desert, thereby cleansing the Jewish people of theirstation we Americans have broken into. If the people
sins. The Jesus died for your sins theorem is anof Earth do not stop driving cars immediately then
extrapalotion of the scape goat mishegus. Thewe human beings will soon cause the extinction of life
reason that people need scape goats is because it'son earth forever with another of our brilliant
too painful to admit your own sins. Jesus Christinventions, weapons of mass destruction. We are like
hammered home over and over the importance ofthe big guy in "Of Mice and Men" who didn't realize his
obeying the 10 commandments. The self proclaimedown stength and power and accidentaly killed his pet
Holy American Christian Right led the charge into Iraq.mouse. Obviously if one person stops driving, it will
This is the majority of the American people. Despitenot save the world. However, if everyone on Earth
the 10 commandments, the American people idolizestops driving, and disposes of the weapons of mass
Lindsay Lohan, drive on the Sabbath, do not honordestruction, it will save life on Earth. All it would take
their fathers, have murdered 1 million innocent Iraqiwould be 200 people representing 200 countries to
men, women and children even though they had zerostand up tomorrow at the United Nations and
to do with 9/11, commit adultery, are trying to stealannouncing that effective immediately each country
the Iraqis' oil, have repeatedly beared false witnesswill be banning cars and disarming. It's that simple.