Accepting What We Can't Change & Embracing What We Can

One of my favorite quotes comes from Reinholdimplement change if you really want to. Mustering the
Niebuhr. He said "God, grant me the serenity tocourage to facilitate change depends on how much
accept the things I cannot change, the courage toyou desire it. The more you desire change, the easier
change the things I can, and the wisdom to knowit will be to start. But you must start somewhere.
the difference." I think that most people have seenThen take baby steps until you reach your final goal.
or heard this quote at some point in their lives. It isThere are times in life when you may be on the
extremely powerful and life changing once youfence about whether or not you can change a
understand, embrace, and implement it. The purposesituation. Develop a list with two columns. In one
of this article is to offer advice on how to implementcolumn, list what you can change about the situation.
this philosophy in your life.In the second column, list what you are incapable of
There are things in life that you can't change nochanging. Sometimes this will highlight whether or not
matter how much you might want to or how hardyou can change a situation. If you're still struggling,
you try. For example, you might want to be a brainsolicit feedback from family members, friends,
surgeon but experience severe spasticity in one ofcoworkers, and neighbors about your specific
your hands, preventing you from performing intricatesituation and challenge. The great thing about soliciting
surgery. Or, you might want to be an airline pilot butinput from a wide variety of people is that they
are blind. In situations such as these, you need to findoften think differently and offer varying perspectives.
a way to make peace with the things you cannotBy listening to them, it may provide the information
change. Although it may not always seem possible,and knowledge you need to make a final, but wise,
explore opportunities to participate in things you lovedecision.
in other ways, such as teaching. It may not be in theBy considering the advice provided above, it is my
manner you desire most, but at least you will behope that you will explore ways to accept those
involved and living your passion to some degree.things in life that you cannot change, that you
If you do have control and can change certain itemsdevelop the strength and devise a game plan to
in life, then develop a game plan to do so. If you arechange those things you can, and that you develop a
scared to change or don't know how to go about it,network of people, from whom you can solicit input
ask family members, friends or your co-workers forand advice, to help you determine what you can or
advice or support; seek coaching or counselingcan't change when you are indecisive.
therapy, read a "how to do it" manual/book; take anCopyright 2010 © Sharon L. Mikrut, All rights
assertive class; etc. There are a number of ways toreserved.