Autism and Communication

Getting one’s needs met and to exist happily inmisunderstood. 
one’s family, community and beyond isThe phenomenon of echolalia is also something that
dependent on the ability to communicate.   Ascan be understood.  One first needs to remember
non-autistic individuals we can use ourselves tothat the autistic child has minimal and varying
communicate our needs and express our feelings. (depending on their functioning level) ability to use
The autistic individual depending on their functioningoneself in relationship to others.  Also it is important
level, has anywhere from extremely limitedto remember that a lack of attachment precludes
(nonexistent in some) to some ability to ask for theirone from being able to use one’s self.  Thus
needs to be met.  Some people with autism seemecholalia is the result of not being able to use
to communicate by perseverating on a topic thatone’s self.  The child only has access to what
seems to not relate at all to whatever the topicthey hear.  They may hear “do you want a
might be.   For example, one child may becomecookie?”  Developmentally all the child can do is
fixated on televisions and only be able to talk aboutmimic the other person.  There is no awareness and
this subject, no matter what else is being discussed. ability to use the self in response to the other.  Thus
It is not unusual for autistic individuals to seem tothe end result is a repetition of what the child
come out of “left field” with what theyheard. 
might say.   For example, the topic may beThe child who reverses his pronouns and uses
“going to the grocery store and what will be‘you’ to mean ‘I’ is beginning to
bought at the store.”  The child may say,use his self with others.  The child uses
“you are pretty.”‘you’ because it is safer than ‘me or
There are also individuals who are nonverbal, thoseI.’ The autistic child does not feel safe in the
who use echolalia and still others that can onlyworld.  Everything is confusing, awkward and anxiety
express their needs by reversing their pronouns. producing.  The use of ‘you’ as it refers to
When they want a cookie to eat, instead of sayingthe self is another example of dissociation.  As I
“I want a cookie,” the child may say,mentioned before the child is split.  As the child
“you want a cookie.” develops and he becomes less split and gains more
Let’s make sense of what is going on.  If as Iagency, he will then move to using the pronoun
am suggesting the child has not had the benefit of an‘me’ and finally as he has more and more
attachment, lacks the ability to use him/herself inaccess to himself, he will be able to use ‘I.’
relationship to others and is also in a state ofThere seems to be a direct correlation to the use of
dissociation with varying degrees of consciousness‘I’ and ability to know and access feelings
then I would continue to propose that the child’sand use them in relationship to others.
ability to communicate is going to be compromised. Now lets look at why the communication of autistic
Let me explain how these different elementsindividuals appears inappropriate.  First of all, I believe
contribute to not only problems in communicating, butthat an autistic individual is always communicating his
also relating to others. state of existence.  Unfortunately, most perceive
It is important to remember that the autistic individualthese communications from their own experience,
wants to communicate and in fact is alwayswhich includes having completed the attachment
communicating about himself even though he may beprocess.  In working with autistic individuals, many
nonverbal, echolalic or reversing pronouns.  He is liketry to extinguish the “odd” behaviors of the
any human being in that he has a need tochild.  In doing so, we are not understanding the
communicate.  Unfortunately, because he has had anmessage the child is trying to communicate through
incomplete attachment, he cannot identify hishis strange behaviors.  We in a sense are helping
feelings, which are dissociated, and therefore cannotthem feel misunderstood versus understood and not
use those feelings to express his needs.  In otherseen versus seen.  Instead these communications
words, he has not developed to a level where he hasneed to be understood within the context of a child
self-agency.  This means he literally cannot ask forwho has never attached and cannot use the self to
anything for his own benefit.  This is not a physicalcommunicate.  Every behavior that the child uses
problem, but instead a “developmentalcan be understood and must be understood so that
problem” that can change over time.the child can gain understanding and recognition,
It is my opinion, that what one sees with thewhich are precursors to being able to attach.  Our
nonverbal autistic child is the reverse of what onework with the autistic person is to understand,
sees with a “typical” child.  I call thisvalidate, accept and recognize the autistic person.  If
phenomenon “Inside out, upside down.”  Inthe caregiver or professional can recognize and see
other words, the unconscious part of the child is onthe child, then the child can start to see him or
the outside and the conscious part is in the inside. herself.   
That is why some nonverbal autistic children seemIn concluding, I want to restate that the
out of control and low functioning, but with the useperseverations, the out of context communications,
of a computer can communicate beautifully inthe use of pronoun reversal, echolalia, nonverbal
writing.  This is a very good example of the split orcommunication, to name only a few, can be
dissociation of the self.  Most people are unfamiliarunderstood through the lens of an “Incomplete
with seeing the ‘unconscious.’  BecauseAttachment” which leaves the individual in a state
most people are unfamiliar with the workings of thewaiting for the completed attachment and without
unconscious, autistic individuals are constantlyaccess to self or what I call self-agency.