Networking: How To Get People Talking

u ever found yourself in conversation with someoneBy using this wording, you are granting the other
whose area of expertise totally stumps you? Whatperson the status of insider. Since we all enjoy talking
should you do?about our special knowledge, that will usually
First, don't try to wing it, because you'll makeencourage him or her to give you all sorts of
mistakes and look foolish. Why would you want toinformation.
fake it anyway? There's no shame in not knowing• Your enthusiasm about this subject is infectious.
about a topic you've never studied. When referringWhat is it about it that so fascinates you?
to something that's not too difficult, you may haveYou have subtly complimented the speaker, who will
used the expression, "It's not brain surgery", but didsubconsciously want to convey the same fascination
you ever stop to think that to a brain surgeon itto you.
might be just as appropriate to say, "It's not• I'm afraid I don't know anything about the
accounting" or "It's not desktop publishing" or evenpublishing business. Would you explain what that
"It's not rock music"? Will Rogers once said, "We're allexpression means?
ignorant - just in different subjects". Personally, IWhen you have admitted ignorance of a subject,
believe the only reason I can't perform brain surgerythere is no such thing as a stupid question, so go
is that I've never studied it, but that doesn't mean Iahead and ask away!
am less intelligent or worthy than a brain surgeon,(By the way, this last question is also very useful
does it?when purchasing services. Have you ever received an
If we're not embarrassed to admit we don't knoworder back from the printer, only to find it was not
about brain surgery, or rocket science, why shouldwhat you had envisioned? You could probably have
we be concerned about admitting ignorance of anysaved time and money by admitting your lack of
topic? Perhaps there's a clue right there in the word Iknowledge right up front and letting the specialist
used. "Ignorance" is a loaded term, isn't it? But thehelp you order exactly what you wanted.)
Oxford Dictionary defines it simply as "lacking inDid you notice the common element in all three
knowledge", with no connotation of shame. In fact,examples? Yes, I am inviting the person to tell me
I'd suggest that admission of ignorance is the firstmore. There's no more effective conversation
step towards learning-and often to a truly interestingtechnique than asking people about themselves and
conversation.their interests - and then genuinely listening to their
To take advantage of this idea, try some of theseanswers. During my networking workshops, people
conversation encouragers:often tell me they are nervous about meeting new
• I haven't had any exposure to the world ofpeople because they don't know what to say. If
professional music. Is it really as exciting as it looksthat's your challenge, why not turn this around, and
from the outside?consider what to ask?