| As a child, sitting between my parents in church, I | | | | Three months after the pirates of West Nile |
| often sang the old gospel song, "Count your | | | | attacked our little boat, I read something that helped |
| blessings, name them one by one. Count your many | | | | me process our losses. I read that when a historic |
| blessings, see what God has done...." | | | | pirate ship approached a vessel while flying a red flag |
| I have found it equally crucial to number our losses to | | | | it meant the villains were prepared not only to rob, |
| the pirates of life. To name them aloud or write | | | | but to kill. |
| them down. To mourn them, one by one. | | | | If they flew a black flag though, it meant something |
| We should not be ashamed to grieve for what we | | | | different. If their victims willingly surrendered their |
| have lost, as deeply and for as long as necessary. | | | | treasure, the attackers would leave one of those |
| But then (here's the important part) we must let the | | | | treasures intact--their own lives. |
| good things we have lost slip from our hands with a | | | | Beneath the window in my hostel room, where I |
| prayer of thanks, and our blessing. Fly away. Fly | | | | lived during my husband's stay in a rehab, sat a play |
| away. | | | | structure in the shape of a ship. A pirate ship, I |
| Why? We must do so in order to open our hands to | | | | joked. I asked God why he'd allowed our pirates to |
| what comes next. | | | | park it right there, where I had to look at it daily. |
| When my husband fell ill and was diagnosed with | | | | Interestingly, the ship flew a BLACK flag. |
| West Nile neurological disease in summer of 2007, the | | | | Now, I can't help but think God planted it there. A |
| little boat of our lives flipped upside down. Vandals | | | | reminder, if you wish, of what would be necessary |
| take all forms--we felt as though our life had been | | | | for us to do in order to survive the days |
| ravaged by body pirates. | | | | ahead--willingly let go of our former life, in order to |
| After a hospital stay of six months, he returned | | | | gain a new one. |
| home, walking with a walker, and unable to return to | | | | And we have found it. Though my husband still |
| work. A single mosquito bite had ushered us into the | | | | battles the complications of his disease, and life is far |
| world of disability. | | | | more difficult than ever before, we have been |
| At the start of our journey down West Nile, my | | | | granted entirely new opportunities we never could |
| husband and I made the choice to move | | | | have found had we clung to the dear old familiar. |
| forward--without becoming angry or bitter. The | | | | Letting go of our losses has freed our hands to grab |
| choice to leave behind our old life, to not blame God | | | | onto something else--the hands of others who need |
| for the things the pirates stole. | | | | a lift. Doing so has made our own journey less |
| It wasn't easy--we had to re-make the choice daily. | | | | wearying--even joyful. |
| We became intentional about it. Early in our journey | | | | One of Christ's apostles, Paul, knew the importance |
| we resolved that no matter how puzzling or painful, | | | | of letting go. His life too, had been turned topsy |
| we WOULD find, somewhere near the end of the | | | | turvy. He commented in one of his letters, "But one |
| Nile, more treasure remaining in our little boat than | | | | thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining |
| the scoundrels of the West Nile stole. Something to | | | | toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to |
| grow on. | | | | win the prize for which God has called me |
| Acknowledging that difficulty can bring growth, | | | | heavenward in Christ Jesus" Philippians 3:13, 14 NIV. |
| however, doesn't mean ignoring our losses. But our | | | | LIG. Let it go. We did. We haven't been sorry. We |
| faith reminded us that all the losses common to | | | | feel in good company. |
| humanity can serve a higher purpose, if we let them. | | | | |