| Don't Give Up! | | | | you. More than likely when you think someone else |
| We all have this idea of what a marriage is supposed | | | | needs to change, it's really YOU that needs to take |
| to look like. You meet someone, fall in love, plan your | | | | that advice!) Now that you have your list of dislikes, |
| wedding, plan your future, and because of | | | | you can begin to see what it is that you really do |
| preconceived expectations you're watching your | | | | want to create in your marriage. Please keep in mind |
| marriage die right before your eyes! In the midst of | | | | to make requests of your spouse and not demands. |
| what seems to be a failed marriage is really a new | | | | Now take some time and write out what you want |
| opportunity. | | | | to create in your marriage. Take some time to really |
| You went to all the trouble of investing time and | | | | envision this new future, getting very detailed. What |
| energy with your spouse, made plans for the future, | | | | would the perfect day look like? The perfect week? |
| survived the ups and the downs. The troubles you're | | | | The perfect holiday? Have FUN with this vision! Next |
| experiencing now is bad news, but it's good news, | | | | write out a specific fun goal you want to accomplish |
| too! Now you can try something new. Every day of | | | | in your marriage in the next 6 months to a year. |
| your marriage isn't going to be perfect. Those downs | | | | Make sure it's measurable, meaning you'll know once |
| give you more chances to enjoy the ups to their | | | | it's accomplished. Also make sure that you can make |
| fullest. The down times are showing you what you | | | | it happen yourself or with your spouse without some |
| don't like and drive you to have more of what you | | | | divine intervention or some other outside source. |
| do like in your life. | | | | Once you have your goal and a time line, break your |
| Marriage is not an exact science. Rather, it's a | | | | goal up in to 3 bite sized pieces, or mini goals. These |
| constantly changing place in which unpredictable things | | | | will be the mile markers letting you know you're |
| happen. In a marriage, every challenge can lead to a | | | | closer to achieving your big goal by the end of the |
| surprising reward. | | | | year. After accomplishing your mini goal, be sure and |
| So let's work together and redesign your marriage. | | | | reward yourself and your spouse, making sure to get |
| First, take some time and make note of what you | | | | really creative and have FUN with the reward! And |
| really don't like about your marriage. Be honest and | | | | finally, find yourself a support system, something that |
| don't make this all about what your spouse needs to | | | | will keep you on track to achieving the goal in your |
| change. (Remember, when you're pointing at | | | | marriage, something or someone that will hold you |
| someone else, you have 3 fingers pointing back at | | | | accountable. |